My job? Why do you ask? Besides some idiotic notion that you can do what I do better. Why the nerve of you even slightly suggesting that I......
*Takes phone call*
*Sigh* Alright I suppose I'll tell you. My name is Bodana Dyalov, A3 class agent for UNITY(meaning I can go anywhere I please) and currently I'm assigned to the "Underworld, and terrorism investigation department" with direct orders to watch-over and guard our newest agent, Lauren O'Rourke. Happy now? No? *Sigh* Alright I have to follow her in the field, protect her, and keep watch over her 24/7. She's not allowed to move on her own, or work on her own without my express say so.
*Takes sip of coffee and starts checking computer.* Of course this is obnoxious..Lauren is rather frustrating, and her former criminal nature resurfaces all to often.
*Opens her email..is met with a picture of Lauren wearing only frilly lingere. She spits her coffee out*
LAUREN! YOU TOUCH MY COMPUTER AGAIN YOU DIE!
*Takes a deep breath and settles down*
See what I mean? Just no breaks whatsoever with that woman..can't you see why I want to get a new partner?
*Waits until interview is over..then copies picture into favorites*
As one who's known O'Rourke for awhile, (and at a distance, thank God), I recommend changing her handler from that gorgeous Russian chick to a wet work specialist who looks like Lee Marvin after a hard night. Otherwise you're going to have them both in bed making like bunnies and probably wreck the efficiency of the Russian. O'Rourke, to her credit, never lets sex get in the way of business - if the business is larceny, extortion, murder for profit, gun selling or large institutional robberies. Give her new handler instructions to put her in an unmarked grave as soon as she steps out of line. Knowing her, it will be before the weekend.
ReplyDelete*Bodana checks over comment, studies the words and gets a furious look*
ReplyDeleteWhy how dare you suggest an agent as skilled as myself would loose efficency because I'm "making like bunnies" rather than concentrating on the job at hand! I'm a professional, and I always deliever no matter what the situation...
*Paues for a moment thinks about the old bed she owns with the really good springs*
I...I...I need to go get some coffee.
I have to admit, Lauren's reason enough for me to pull my hair out. I'm just glad Bodana's got to worry about her now. Pity about her hair though.
ReplyDelete