Bodana Dyalov My handler

My job? Why do you ask? Besides some idiotic notion that you can do what I do better. Why the nerve of you even slightly suggesting that I......

*Takes phone call*

*Sigh* Alright I suppose I'll tell you. My name is Bodana Dyalov, A3 class agent for UNITY(meaning I can go anywhere I please) and currently I'm assigned to the "Underworld, and terrorism investigation department" with direct orders to watch-over and guard our newest agent, Lauren O'Rourke. Happy now? No? *Sigh* Alright I have to follow her in the field, protect her, and keep watch over her 24/7. She's not allowed to move on her own, or work on her own without my express say so.

*Takes sip of coffee and starts checking computer.* Of course this is obnoxious..Lauren is rather frustrating, and her former criminal nature resurfaces all to often.

*Opens her email..is met with a picture of Lauren wearing only frilly lingere. She spits her coffee out*

LAUREN! YOU TOUCH MY COMPUTER AGAIN YOU DIE!

*Takes a deep breath and settles down*

See what I mean? Just no breaks whatsoever with that woman..can't you see why I want to get a new partner?

*Waits until interview is over..then copies picture into favorites*

Agent Lauren O'Rourke of UNITY

Ahhh..crime they say it never pays but I lived pretty well. Every night it was another ritzy hotel, another beautiful girl at my side, and more money than I could spend at one. Being a gangster was wonderful, so was being a thief, an arms dealer, and pretty much any other unsavory thing you could possibly think of. Oh crime pays, and it payed extremely well.
Until the day I found myself on the wrong end of an angry heroine, and soon found myself beaten, and cuffed...awaiting a very long stint in prison. My life was over, and soon I'd be the new fresh meat in prison..life was unfair.


That is until an angel walked in. Tall, Russian, tough and beautiful. Told me her name was Bodana Dyalov and that she had an offer I just couldn't refuse..and looking at her I don't think I could resist anyway. Soon enough I find myself taken outta jail, flown out of the country, and told that a body matching my discription was found outside of Boston. My former life is over..it's now time for me to join an elite organization of spies known as UNITY.

Now? I'm using all the criminal skills I've learned to track down agents of the underworld..including members of CHIMERA, a vicious terrorist group that hopes to bring about a new Reich. Too bad that I'm still not trusted to go off any place by my own, so I have to have Bodana follow me around any place I go..and hope that we both don't get killed in yet some other wicked plot.

Yeah my life has changed, and I'm no longer who I used to be...no problem though, I kinda like playing the good-girl.
..and not just because I wanna get in Bodana's pants.

Things not said aloud: A Monica Minx and Cerise Visconti story

Monica:

We aren't going to make it, I know that's for certain. We're tied back-to-back, tape over our lips, and a goddamn bomb is ticking with only ten minutes left. After all the situations I've been in, all the narrow escapes, I'm about to be done in by one of the most cliche devices known to man.

Well fine, I've made my peace...but I've also got to get something off my chest.

Cerise I'm in love with you. There simple as that. Sure I make more "white girl" jokes than you can imagine, and I'm seriously never going to "get" Hüsker Dü, but I love you all the same.

"Mmghgmhm" 9 minutes left and the ropes around my wrists still aren't loose.

Cerise I don't know why it's taken me all this time to tell you this, and right now I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner. Here you are every single day, always with that camera of yours making sure I look good, and always being the first to help me with everything...and..and...you always happened to be right in front of me. And I missed you.

"Mmghgmghmhmhm!" My eyes go wide, I think the knots around my wrists are slightly loose. I wiggle against you.

Cerise:

Ohmygod we're DEAD! No doubt in my mind, I mean the ropes are tight, the gags are secure, and neither of us are exactly escape artists. The time bomb keeps ticking, and no matter how hard I struggle I can't get free. That's okay though..at least I'm with you. Yeah that's right boss, I'm head over heels for you.

"Mmghgmghgmh!!" I try to help you with the knots around your wrists..no good.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly when I fell over heels for you. But if I had to put anything down on paper it would be that day in the apartment when I caught you dancing to Outkast's PJ & Rooster. Those tight jeans you wore, the way you moved..god I almost converted to hip-hop in full that day.

"mMGHGMHT!!!" My eyes go wide mostly because I feel your rear press against mine..then I realize that you've gotten the ropes around your wrists loose! Oh my god we might make it out!

Monica:

"Mmghgmghmh!!" Yeah that's it Cerise work with me here, help me out with the knots, and maybe..just maybe we might survive.

And if we do surive? Here's what I'm going to do. First I'm going to kiss you really hard, and for a hell of a long time. Then? I'm going to take you home, rip that "maoist revolutionary" get-up off, crank up some Lauryn Hill, and ravish your French ass for about 10 hours. That's exactly what I'm going to do, and I'm going to let you know...

"MGMGHGMGHMH!!!" I can feel it! The ropes! They're almost off my wrists! But there's only four minutes left! Shit!

Cerise:

"mghmmgghmghmghgm!!!" God it's hard getting these knots out but I think I can manage. I'm so nervous, so scared, but we just might make it!

And if we do make it? I'm going to take you back to Marseille with me, I'm going to dress you up as some Nubian queen, I'm going to put on P.J. Harvey, and I'm going to make love to you in every single building in the city. And I'm going to let you know....

"MGHGMGGHMHMH!!!!" Oh god! I feel the knots get loose! But only four minutes? We aren't going to make it.

Monica:

"MMGFGMGJGMGHGMGH!!!!" THERE! The ropes are off my wrists! Okay now pull the rope that binds our torso's together off, and try to untie your ankles. Hold on Cerise we're almost done.

I wonder if your lips taste like cherries.

Cerise:

"MGMGHGMGHGMHMH!!!!" YOU DID IT! I knew you could though, because everything about you is amazing. Get yourself untied then free me!

I wonder how warm you are.

Monica:

I pull the ankle ropes away! And with a loud "OWWW!" rip the tape off my lips. 2 minutes left. I rush to untie you, because I've got to say so much.

Cerise:

I feel you untie my wrists, and I without pause bend down and start untie my legs. You peel my gag off "Viens m'enculer!" I swear.

Monica:

Without another thought I grab you and start running, the seconds tick down, the door seems so far. "BOOOOMMMM!!!!" We just made it, tumbling into the bushes as the warehouse goes up in smoke.

I find myself on top of you.

Cerise:

We're not going to make it! We're going to die! No matter how fast we go! We make it...leaping out into the bushes just at the last second.

I find myself pinned underneath you.

Monica:

I kiss you.

Your lips taste like cherries.

Cerise:

I let you kiss me.

You feel so warm.

Coming Soon: Pin-up Gal: A hot-blooded Noir

Nancy was a Vegas showgirl heading for the sleepy town of Silver Dollar with a bag full of ill-earned gains, and a wish to start anew.

Chelo was a gal from the wrong side of the border looking for love, and easy money.

Claudia was the town sheriff, with too much ambition, and not enough good sense.

All three have purchased tickets to a nightmare that's only going to get worse as it goes along. From late-night bedhopping, to vicious backstabbing, to things of a far more fatal sort. Naturally it's one hell of a ride.

One that might not involve any of them left standing at the end.