Sunday, March 21, 2010

If Lauren ran the movies...

So not to sound like a broken record, but I didn't post for a good chunk of January, all of Febuary and most of March..which kinda sucks because I've got things that I want to do, and I reallllly love having cool people checking out my blog. Thankfully I've got some time off work this week, and you all might be in luck and see some massive amounts of cool shite comin' out(lotsa Skatara stuff that I want to get around to) So please stick around for that.

In the meantime though? You'll have to deal with what might be a new feature on the blog: "If Lauren ran the movies" Which is basically what it says on the tin. Basically for a brief moment I'm going to take you into the(perverted)recesses of my mind, and pluck out movie ideas that I'd greenlight in a heartbeat. It's probably distressing, it's probably disturbing, and what you might find is that I'm an extremely shallow person...but hey it's the best I could come up with at the moment, so deal with it.

*Ahem* Anyways here's our very first pitch, and away it goes!

Easily marketed title: The Defending One
Starring: Gina Carano, Alyson Hannigan, Salma Hayek

Quickly pitched plot!: Salma Hayek plays evil crazy Mexican drug cartel boss who discovers sweet innocent catholic girl Alyson Hannigan has witnessed a murder! Naturally she sends lethal assassins to kill the poor girl, who plays it smart by running into the arms of Gina Carano's badass death-dealing, chica from hell.

Why should the movie be made: It'll be a non-stop action ride, that pits a dynamic action heroine against massive odds with great stunts! It's also a tender coming of age tale...I think.

The real reason for this movie: Because I want to see Carano and Hannigan in lots of chains, squirming around and wiggling all over each other as they try to escape the cartel's death dungeon. Also? Something about a slow motion seduction scene in a hot tub, with Hannigan's red hair soaking wet, Carano's well toned body covered in a sheen of water, and a tight fitting space that would force both.....goddamnit I've lost my train of thought.

How much is Lauren fantasing about this instead of doing work: Lots.

3 comments:

  1. Ah, Alyson Hannigan! Loved her in Buffy and would love to see her chained to the dungeon wall, 'Mmmph'ing through her gag while Gina fights Salma's henchmen to save her.

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  2. Sounds like a winner to me. Hot chicks with deadly weapons are a major reason to go to the movies. Glad to see you posting again.

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